"I’m in love with cities I’ve never been to and people I’ve never met.."
This is all about me, and my life taken a little less seriously..
A mishmash of thoughts from the diaries of a chick who don't intend to please anybody with my posts. I've very few re-blogs, some edited pictures, quotes, music and all things in between. All posts are mine unless otherwise stated.
And so it began.. It's a little too late to save me now.
Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
From meeting up my best friend to visiting my Gramma’s grave in Caloocan, my weekend has been eventful indeed. The previous week’s efforts of commuting to and from work has paid off because it enabled me to fill the gas tank just enough to support my drive from Manila to Cubao then from Manila to Caloocan. With the gas prices these days, it’s just impossible to use the car both for work and leisure. Tsss.
So Saturday, I finally saw my best friend’s 7 month old son. What a cute li’l ball of happiness:
We had quick snack together while trying to catch up as much as we could although it’s not much, it’s the best for now. Maybe when our lives have slowed down a bit, we could talk a little longer.
Earlier was a bit more tiring, what’s with the two hour drive and the smoldering heat of the afternoon sun. Was worth it, though. Visiting my gramma’s grave, and visiting the places we once lived on. I felt a bit nostalgic as I drove along the familiar roads of my childhood. There have been changes, new establishments and the like but all in all, it was the same ol’ place I once knew.
We stayed at my Gramp’s furniture shop for a bit and had lunch there. After a blissful meal, he joined us at the cemetery. More talks as we hang out beside the grave.
Even though it’s been 3 years, I’m still not used to seeing my gramma’s name written on the gravestone. It’s like I had this notion in my head that she’s just away for the summer, that she’ll be back soon. 3 freakin’ years and I’m still waiting. Still wishing, still wanting to be with her again more than anything else.
I whispered happy birthday over and over, hoping she’ll hear it wherever she is. Hoping she knows how much I love her. Hoping she knows how this time of the year has been one of the hardest for me to deal with ever since she left.
We left a little after 2 in the afternoon. My little man chose the passenger seat beside me.
I glance at him in between brakes, thinking how Gramma would’ve loved to see him now. I focused on the road before tears could well up in my eyes.
As we drove away, I let the bittersweet memories catch up with me. Those times I had when Gramma was around were definitely the happiest I have ever been.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Gramma. Still wish you are here. <3
You’ve been told to be patient. You’ve been asked to understand.You knew it’s gonna be hard. Don’t worry though, no one had it easy, even the ones before you.
It’s only a matter of time, don’t even think about giving up now. It’s starting to show how you are stepping up and being noticed. Very slowly, very silently, very patiently. .. Wait. Endure. Smile. Let them do the talking, you do the nod and acknowledgement. Some people need to speak every time because they will lose their minds if they spend a day without giving their opinion or thoughts about every damn thing. They have to act smart all the time you see. They have to show to everyone that they know what they’re doing even when most of the time, they simply DO NOT. Nevertheless, let them be. Silence will be your greatest strength. Just be glad you have the common sense that other people seem to have forgotten elsewhere.
When the time is right, you’ll be doing most of the talking so until then, keep your mouth shut. Observe. Listen. And the most important thing is to have a wee bit more patience. Those people need it most from you. I know it could get tiring sometimes having to let them talk like they know what they’re talking about but imagine the relief for you when it all comes crashing back to them. You’re tempted to come over and say, ”Told you so.” but you keep it to yourself hoping they will come to realize who’s right all along.
But then again, don’t keep your hopes up too much. There’s certain kinds of people who won’t accept the fact that they’re wrong. They may realize it but they will refuse to believe it. They will insist on what they think is right and will shut off any other valid opinion, indeed your patience will be tested big time. Take it as a challenge. Remember that as long as you are equipped with the right words to say and a dozen proofs to back it up then don’t fear.
One other important thing to remember is to manage the perception of the people around you. Imagine how they will perceive someone who talks a lot, acts like they know what they’re doing and shuts off everyone else’s opinion? Now imagine how they will perceive a quiet person who works hard in silence and has proven their knowledge and competency? Who do you think will be more credible? Who among these two will be more comfortable to approach?
Think about it. Don’t give up the fight. Not now. Not ever.
Be strong because you are required to be. Endure because you have to. Understand because you have the capacity to do so.
People ask for help so extend both hands to them. Never focus on how the question seemed to be out of proportion, focus on their need for answers. Appreciate the fact that they do ask, because it only means they trust that you would know the answer, or that you would definitely find the answers for them. Appreciate that this opportunity has been given/assigned to you. There may be times when the answer is already obvious but you still have to give it to them in a manner that they would understand. Again, remember that these people do not know, and common sense is far from reaching them, so don’t be mad at them for being the way they are. It’s not their fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s all part of a greater plan for you.
Remember you are so close to what you’ve been wanting for so long. Remember it will all fall into place when the right time comes. When it does, you can change things for the better. Maybe even teach them just a wee bit of what others call ”common sense”. Until then, have the patience and wisdom to understand what others cannot.
You were given this wisdom for a reason. You were given the capability to have a better understanding of things so use it as an advantage. Keep quiet, but work hard to gain more knowledge. Put up a silent fight by keeping things to yourself and being mum. If they don’t know what’s going on inside your head, then nothing can be used against you.
You’ll be dealing with a lot of people who likes to speak their mind all the time even if no one’s asking. Deal with them patiently by simply acknowledging. You don’t have to give out your own opinion, remember that these may lead to unwanted arguments and besides, they are most likely not gonna listen. They will feel like they’re being judged, attacked, or criticized no matter how you deliver it. Someday you will earn your right to be listened to. In the meantime, contain yourself.
Understand because you have the capacity to do so.