"I’m in love with cities I’ve never been to and people I’ve never met.."
This is all about me, and my life taken a little less seriously..
A mishmash of thoughts from the diaries of a chick who don't intend to please anybody with my posts. I've very few re-blogs, some edited pictures, quotes, music and all things in between. All posts are mine unless otherwise stated.
And so it began.. It's a little too late to save me now.
I never wished for any of this, believe me. I never wished to shatter your world, your life and your heart. Maybe I am born to do this, you see. Maybe I am born to destroy good things and nurture the bad.
If I could have it any other way, I would just to not see your world falling apart. You have no idea how I wanted to take all your pain and pass it on to me because I can handle it, I’ve been through worse. I heal fast, it’s like the more I get wounded, the quicker I heal. Don’t ask how it happened, I cannot recall. All I know is I don’t let any pain linger longer than they should. There’s just no fucking way I would ever get hurt again.
I have warned you beforehand but still, I don’t blame you. I thought you could change me, well in a way, you almost did. I began to hope and believe again. It was not your fault alone, I am a culprit too I am taking most of the blame. We had it, we were there, we simply let each others past consume the present. We let it get in the way.
It was no longer happy. It was no longer hopeful. It did not turn out to what I imagined it to be. I guess some things are like that, aren’t they? It’s funny how you think you have everything planned. It’s funny how something comes up to turn everything around. Worst part is, you’ll never know how or when it’s gonna happen.
Please don’t get me wrong, I know it would have been worth the fight. Unfortunately, what I know and what I feel are two different things.
You just wait. You stay there and wait. It’ll be my turn soon. You may have beaten my ass in getting there first but it doesn’t mean you’ll have the last laugh. It ain’t over because I haven’t won yet.
When I get my turn, it’s gonna be all uphill from there. I may encounter some minor bumps in the road but there is one thing I will make sure of: I will not have another kid. Not until I’ve reached my 30s, that is. And not until I’m financially stable to sustain another life.
On the other hand, you may be there yes, but you will meet someone to flirt with, given that you’re sucha slutty li’l shit. The man will turn out to be married and you’ll be so lost into believing he will be choosing you over his real wife. By the time you realize he’s just like this one guy from your past who left you, history would have already repeat itself. You’re left alone, AGAIN, with more kids to fend for.
The question now is, who will be the first one to get knocked up? Ms. WastedYouth or Mrs. Mole? Actually, I’m really betting on the Mole because she’s living under one roof with the man they once shared so her chances of getting fucked is higher. While Miss would pretend to be on the getting-to-know-one-another stage, trying to act all prim and proper as a front but will eventually spread her legs open.
For those people who might wanna raise an eyebrow on me, hold yer horses fellas. I’m not saying I’m a saint and I never claimed to be one. I just feel like it’s hypocrisy that these women I’m bashing are pretending to be saints when in reality they are not. They’re making us look bad. Just because a woman is quiet and prim doesn’t mean she doesn’t invite some cock in. It doesn’t mean they’re not as slutty as the loud women dancing on the bar’s tables. They have more sluttiness hiding inside those pretty clothes, believe me. I know some guys would agree that the wildest women in bed are the quiet ones on the outside, right bois?
Don’t be too quick to judge. It’s not always about the game, it’s about who can play it better.
Are you happy now, Mrs. Mole? You should be. I fucking dare you to be. I mean you’re already living a miserable life and you’re probably gonna die lonely, so I guess it’s about time I give you a little gift of happiness. I hope you appreciate it. I hope you’re happy to have him around. I hope you will finally get laid again soon. I fear that your cunt will close down for good if you continue being inactive so there, I hope I was able to help.
When it does happen, I seriously wish you get pregnant again, for the NTH time. Please do it for me as your way of saying thank you. I’m sure it would make him happier too. I now believe that some people are just born to proliferate, like wild animals who refuse to stand on the brink of extinction. We get it guys, don’t worry. You have such wonderful genes it would really be a shame to stop producing kids. Make the most out of it, make the most out of your lives, remember that this is what the two of you is born to do: REPRODUCE.
Now help me to the math here. I think Mrs. Mole is about 35 or 36. Women goes through menopause at what age? 40? 50? If it takes 9 months before a baby is born, then that means she can reproduce once a year so we’re looking at…. 5 more kids? If she don’t menopause early, we can even go for 10! Yay! My only concern for them is that they would no longer fit within a standard camera frame. They need to buy a camera with panorama shot feature to cover every member of the happy family.
You’re like a dog, Mrs. Mole because you allowed yourself to be treated like one. Dogs don’t care about how many sexual partners their lovers have right? Dogs get pregnant from the same dog who got the dogs from the other neighbourhood pregnant too. Dogs have puppies who grow up to be dogs just like their parents. Damn dirty dogs.
Girls, remember that you are human. Giving birth is a gift, not a hobby.
My eyes couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing. Her blurred, far from the camera shot was liked and praised by people from her friend’s list. How is that so? I guess you call them friends for a reason, huh? Or maybe people are just supportive of her little Cinderella story, from rags to riches kind of shit. Yes, she got lucky alright.
Which makes me more eager than ever to achieve my goals and put that little whore back to where she belongs: in a fucking ditch. But just to be slightly less hateful on her, I would say it’s a good thing she’s proving her life to be better compared to the miserable woman she once hated. Mrs. Mole woman is probably still in her within minimum wage job with a bunch of mouths to feed while Ms. WastedYouth is earning more money than before to feed her own bunch of mouths.
I decided to give her the nickname Ms. WastedYouth because it says it all. She’s only halfway through her twenties but she’s got kids like a 30+ year old woman. Imagine if she’ll have another boyfriend who will only impregnate her again? How many will it be then? In conclusion, before she reach her 30s, she’ll have enough number of kids to turn their house into an orphanage. Not to mention those will be fathered by different men. Wasted youth, indeed.
So in the battle between Mrs. Mole and Ms. WastedYouth, who is most likely to win? I would say it’s a tie. Mrs. Mole is stupid, ugly, dumb and old while Mrs. WastedYouth is a young single mum because she became a sneaky whore at such a young age, her skin tone reminds me of a dog’s shit, her facial features are manly and she’s a dwarf. It’s really a close fight so I’ll let you guys decide for yourselves.
Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
From meeting up my best friend to visiting my Gramma’s grave in Caloocan, my weekend has been eventful indeed. The previous week’s efforts of commuting to and from work has paid off because it enabled me to fill the gas tank just enough to support my drive from Manila to Cubao then from Manila to Caloocan. With the gas prices these days, it’s just impossible to use the car both for work and leisure. Tsss.
So Saturday, I finally saw my best friend’s 7 month old son. What a cute li’l ball of happiness:
We had quick snack together while trying to catch up as much as we could although it’s not much, it’s the best for now. Maybe when our lives have slowed down a bit, we could talk a little longer.
Earlier was a bit more tiring, what’s with the two hour drive and the smoldering heat of the afternoon sun. Was worth it, though. Visiting my gramma’s grave, and visiting the places we once lived on. I felt a bit nostalgic as I drove along the familiar roads of my childhood. There have been changes, new establishments and the like but all in all, it was the same ol’ place I once knew.
We stayed at my Gramp’s furniture shop for a bit and had lunch there. After a blissful meal, he joined us at the cemetery. More talks as we hang out beside the grave.
Even though it’s been 3 years, I’m still not used to seeing my gramma’s name written on the gravestone. It’s like I had this notion in my head that she’s just away for the summer, that she’ll be back soon. 3 freakin’ years and I’m still waiting. Still wishing, still wanting to be with her again more than anything else.
I whispered happy birthday over and over, hoping she’ll hear it wherever she is. Hoping she knows how much I love her. Hoping she knows how this time of the year has been one of the hardest for me to deal with ever since she left.
We left a little after 2 in the afternoon. My little man chose the passenger seat beside me.
I glanced at him in between brakes, thinking how Gramma would’ve loved to see him now. I focused on the road before tears could well up in my eyes.
As we drove away, I let the bittersweet memories catch up with me. Those times I had when Gramma was around were definitely the happiest I have ever been.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Gramma. Still wish you are here. <3
You’ve been told to be patient. You’ve been asked to understand.You knew it’s gonna be hard. Don’t worry though, no one had it easy, even the ones before you.
It’s only a matter of time, don’t even think about giving up now. It’s starting to show how you are stepping up and being noticed. Very slowly, very silently, very patiently. .. Wait. Endure. Smile. Let them do the talking, you do the nod and acknowledgement. Some people need to speak every time because they will lose their minds if they spend a day without giving their opinion or thoughts about every damn thing. They have to act smart all the time you see. They have to show to everyone that they know what they’re doing even when most of the time, they simply DO NOT. Nevertheless, let them be. Silence will be your greatest strength. Just be glad you have the common sense that other people seem to have forgotten elsewhere.
When the time is right, you’ll be doing most of the talking so until then, keep your mouth shut. Observe. Listen. And the most important thing is to have a wee bit more patience. Those people need it most from you. I know it could get tiring sometimes having to let them talk like they know what they’re talking about but imagine the relief for you when it all comes crashing back to them. You’re tempted to come over and say, ”Told you so.” but you keep it to yourself hoping they will come to realize who’s right all along.
But then again, don’t keep your hopes up too much. There’s certain kinds of people who won’t accept the fact that they’re wrong. They may realize it but they will refuse to believe it. They will insist on what they think is right and will shut off any other valid opinion, indeed your patience will be tested big time. Take it as a challenge. Remember that as long as you are equipped with the right words to say and a dozen proofs to back it up then don’t fear.
One other important thing to remember is to manage the perception of the people around you. Imagine how they will perceive someone who talks a lot, acts like they know what they’re doing and shuts off everyone else’s opinion? Now imagine how they will perceive a quiet person who works hard in silence and has proven their knowledge and competency? Who do you think will be more credible? Who among these two will be more comfortable to approach?
Think about it. Don’t give up the fight. Not now. Not ever.